What do you owe yourself?

I don’t owe you anything.

I was having a conversation with a friend one day and he looked me in the eye and emphatically said those words. As someone who is pretty independent most of the time and that tries to ask people for very little my feelings were definitely hurt hearing that. However, it got me to thinking. I could argue what is owed to me by others in the name of friendship, human decency, etc. but after I took the emotion out of it I concluded, regardless of what anyone else does or does not owe me, I owe myself!

Almost every day I have someone ask about going to the gym with me. They say it’s so hard going alone and if they just had someone to go with them they could be more consistent. I agree it is much easier to workout with someone else and so I try to never turn anyone down that wants to join me. So off we go to the gym. However, the minute I have to travel for work and can’t go with them to the gym they fall off. Who’s accountable for that? Me? Nope, them.

As a coach I am an accountability partner. I can motivate, I can guide, I can encourage. The one thing I CANNOT do is complete the job for you. I can go to the gym and sweat it out every day and that will not change your weight the next time you step on the scale. I can shop the perimeter of the grocery store all day long and that won’t change what’s in your cart if you choose to go down the cookie and chips aisle.

Bottom line, there is no external force greater than your inner ability. When you decide to be answerable for your choices, be accountable for your actions, and take responsibility for making your goals a reality no matter what anyone else does to help or hinder you will be unstoppable! Don’t get me wrong, having support from someone else is always better, but it’s not necessary and realistically it’s not always going to be available. You must be ready, willing, and able to give yourself a pep talk when you need, cheer for your own victories, and force yourself to do what needs to be done.

Tips for becoming more accountable:

• Recognize your power: You may not have the answers but you know where you are isn’t where you’re meant to be. Start with that and learn as you go.
• Love yourself: When you love someone there is very little that you wouldn’t do for them. When you love yourself, the same rule should apply.
• Set expectations: It is easy to set expectations for others and let them know when they don’t follow through. Do the same for yourself.
• No excuses: Don’t justify subpar dedication to yourself with an excuse. Accept it for what it is and make changes.

Our motto: I am responsible for MYSELF and my choices. I have to stay focused on becoming a better ME!

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