gangster savior

it would not be an exaggeration to call the frame that holds me up an old bag of bones
yet i drag them around like ten commandment sized dog eared tomes
heavy they seem
bearing the afflictions of many -
most who did not even ask
i carry on
cutting off pieces of my flesh to feed those who seek to devour me
i am nourishing them, i tell my self righteous conscience
in truth, i know they seek to overtake me
no one is my enemy - only myself
me - she who would expel her own soul to save the Morning Star from eternal outer darkness
how could he have known, dear YHWH?
you and i are the only ones who are all seeing and all knowing
the peace that you were supposed to have instilled in my soul I give back to you
forgive him - as i die for the children your payments of mercy can no longer support
this unasked mother is tired
where is their father?
matriarchal supreme being forced to perform patriarchal parts
i am brother to the night
sister to the light
cousin to the Bros
kin to the Folks
both Black, Stone and Moe
Moor than El Rukn
thine Vice and thine Lord
King and Queen of Latins lost
both god and goddess of the Four Corners
Pushing Rainbows 
under pissed on El tracks
a spray painted deity
on cathedral doors and liquor stores in an unforgiving Windy City
a silent prayer under a viaduct (vi-lot) before an eye-witness news reported drive by
and a wish kissed on a cross to make it back home
ignored by mayors
banned by Parks and Recreation
these old bag of bones will keep dragging on
offering salvation at existences cost
saying are eye pea to Suns and Daughters
sacrificed in Struggles of the Cause and Soldiers and Sistahs to the Struggle
unable to save those wheeled out on Leaks and Gatling biers
crown me savior to those who are still here
and the forgotten ones
called on too late by many
seeking all hails and praise
worshiped by none