What do you owe yourself?

I don’t owe you anything.

I was having a conversation with a friend one day and he looked me in the eye and emphatically said those words. As someone who is pretty independent most of the time and that tries to ask people for very little my feelings were definitely hurt hearing that. However, it got me to thinking. I could argue what is owed to me by others in the name of friendship, human decency, etc. but after I took the emotion out of it I concluded, regardless of what anyone else does or does not owe me, I owe myself!

Almost every day I have someone ask about going to the gym with me. They say it’s so hard going alone and if they just had someone to go with them they could be more consistent. I agree it is much easier to workout with someone else and so I try to never turn anyone down that wants to join me. So off we go to the gym. However, the minute I have to travel for work and can’t go with them to the gym they fall off. Who’s accountable for that? Me? Nope, them.

As a coach I am an accountability partner. I can motivate, I can guide, I can encourage. The one thing I CANNOT do is complete the job for you. I can go to the gym and sweat it out every day and that will not change your weight the next time you step on the scale. I can shop the perimeter of the grocery store all day long and that won’t change what’s in your cart if you choose to go down the cookie and chips aisle.

Bottom line, there is no external force greater than your inner ability. When you decide to be answerable for your choices, be accountable for your actions, and take responsibility for making your goals a reality no matter what anyone else does to help or hinder you will be unstoppable! Don’t get me wrong, having support from someone else is always better, but it’s not necessary and realistically it’s not always going to be available. You must be ready, willing, and able to give yourself a pep talk when you need, cheer for your own victories, and force yourself to do what needs to be done.

Tips for becoming more accountable:

• Recognize your power: You may not have the answers but you know where you are isn’t where you’re meant to be. Start with that and learn as you go.
• Love yourself: When you love someone there is very little that you wouldn’t do for them. When you love yourself, the same rule should apply.
• Set expectations: It is easy to set expectations for others and let them know when they don’t follow through. Do the same for yourself.
• No excuses: Don’t justify subpar dedication to yourself with an excuse. Accept it for what it is and make changes.

Our motto: I am responsible for MYSELF and my choices. I have to stay focused on becoming a better ME!

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Nothing Much Has Changed in Black History in 70 Years

By Marcie Hill
Calling All Negroes
I have to admit, the headline made me laugh because this is organizing before Twitter. There was a call for Black people to meet at the Coliseum for a common purpose, and I’m sure that the place was packed with people who cared. I still say, as I said in a previous post that Black people were better when they were Negroes.

Negro Power Against the Government’s Jim-Crow Policy of Discrimination
It looks like this is a battle Black People are still losing according to The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. I haven’t read the book yet, but the prison system is overflowing with Black and Brown people, with Black leading the pack.

Winning Democracy for the Negro
Uh, this seems to be an oxymoron in 2013.

Fight for the Right to Live, Work and Be Free
I don’t think Black people in America care about this so much these days. In order to live and work, you have to be free. Unfortunately, the minds of Black people are being controlled by mainstream media so they won’t be free until they turn off the noise, open books and begin to think for themselves. Like Carter G. Woodson said in the Mis-Education of the Negro, when you control a man’s thinking, you don’t have worry about their actions. They have been trained to do what their oppressors want. So, Black people are on mental lock down in 2012.
As long as they are being controlled, they are not going to fight for the right to live and work. They are going to settle for what’s offered to them and continue to hope for the best instead of trying to do better.
**************
Do you see the cooperation between all these people? That’s how stuff worked in 1942! Will we ever get there again? Only if we turned off the television collectively and started talking to each other and thinking for ourselves.
- See more at: http://www.marciewrites.com/nothing-much-has-changed-in-black-history-in-70-years/#sthash.xHcjKQdD.dpuf

Who Am I? Better Yet, Who Are You?

 by Tiffini Holmes

I am a daughter, sister, aunt, friend. I am funny (I think) smart, practical, outspoken. I am loyal, determined, and destined for success. I am Tiffini. I am as common as my name and as unique as its spelling. I am imperfect, impatient, and independent. I am stubborn!

I am a coach, a mentor, and a resolutionist. Even as early as 6th grade I was selected to be on a committee to listen to student disputes and help them resolve their issues.

I am strong. I am sensitive (this was a new discovery for me!). I am equipped to handle anything that comes my way. I am a jewel (my mom told me that).

Ahhh, but because I know who I am I also know who I am not. I am not a quitter, a liar, or a thief. I am not fearless (but I am working on that). I am not flawless.

I am not mean-spirited. I am not a “hater”. I am not to be taken lightly.

So now we know who I am, but the real question is, who are you? When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Who has shaped what you see? How accurate is what you see?
You see (get it, see? LOL…told you I was funny! Anyway,…) every now and then it is important to check your vision. You have to be sure that your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you and the “YOU” you see is really who you are and not someone that others have made you out to be.
Now I ask you again…who are you?


http://totaltransformationcoaching.com/

Transformation 1: You ARE your your HABITS! Start creating a new you.

 

The Phoenix is a legendary mythical bird representing REBIRTH.

“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters”
Nathaniel Emmons quotes

“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.”
Benjamin Franklin quotes


“Bad habits indulged in become crimes”


“First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.”
Rob Gilbert quotes

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”
Napoleon Hill quotes

“The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.”
Leo Aikman quotes


“Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding”
Harvey MacKay quotes
What habits do you need to KICK TO THE CURB?
Like your Butter pecan ice cream before you go to bed...as well as reaching for comfort food when you feel stressed

Dating the same 'person' character wise over and over again.

Not listening well

Which do you need to incorporate to make a better you?
Deep breath before yelling
A walk instead of a cigarette
Intentionally listening more and talking less in each conversation?

What NEW habits do you plan or need to use for a NEW YOU?

FEED THE PEOPLE CHICAGO | FRIDAY NIGHTS | 79TH & COTTAGE GROVE | 8:30-10PM

What is FTP?

FEED THE PEOPLE is a community lead movement toward becoming self-sustaining as a people while serving as an example of how we can care for and sharing with one another as a community. Every Friday on 79th Street (1/2 block east of Cottage Grove), the FTP team has free food and clothing available for members of the community/family. Staff consists of all volunteers and all items are donated by caring members of the community itself.
Why FTP?
There are a lot of unnecessary problems that exist within the Black community. We say unnecessary because all of our issues & problems do not have to exist!!! Of all of our challenges hunger is one of the most bizarre & blatantly unnecessary!! We have all seen the beauty & compassion of our people during times of climatic catastrophes. Unfortunately, many of us overlook the societal disasters that we as a people encounter daily!! The everyday hurricanes, earthquakes & floods of life we must address & this is what FEED THE PEOPLE is about. But 2 do this we need you!!! If everyone does a little no one has 2 do a lot. We ask that everyone donate a minimum of 2 canned goods a week & pass out a minimum of 10 flyers a week. That’s all. Power, peace & prosperity is ours!! LET’S GET IT!!!!

 Some Simple Things We Can Do 2 Enhance Our Hood
*Throw ya trash in the trash can. A clean environment helps to create a clean mind; a grimy environment helps to create a grimy mind.
*Take it back 2 Alabama & Mississippi on em & Speak & Wave 2 your neighbors. There is no community without COMMUNIcation.
*Create & support positive, creative & enriching programs for our youth. Like B-ball tournaments, chess clubs, rap battles, poetry sets, mentoring programs, Saturday schools, etc. If we don’t have any programs 4 our shortys, please believe the county jail do!!!
*Make sure the churches in our communities are open not just on Sunday, but throughout the week; offering programs that will empower & enrich our community.
*Support Black business & entrepreneurship.
*Get back in touch with home remedies. Ease up on the PHARMacy & go to the real FARM; go back to nature. Please get ya self a copy of the book Prescription 4 Nutritional Healing by Phyllis Balch.
*Check out the documentary “Hidden Colors”. Watch it with your family, church, etc & have a lil round table discussion about it.
** WE WILL HAVE STRONG, LOVING & COOPERATIVE COMMUNITIES AGAIN! **


Help Us…
- Contribute non-perishable food items
- Donate to coat drive (coats, hats, gloves, scarves)
- Donate your time by joining us on Fridays
- Like/Subscribe to updates & spread the word!


CONNECT WITH FTP
www.facebook.com/WeOutHereCommunity
www.facebook.com/BrandonDaurham
For more information: 773-396-3276 / LifeIsGood83@yahoo.com
To donate food & clothing: 312-256-4739 / TiGiNiiCreative@gmail.com

FEED THE PEOPLE CHICAGO | FRIDAY NIGHTS | 79TH & COTTAGE GROVE | 8:30-10P

Circa 1971. First album release for Chicago based legends Earth Wind and Fire

 In 1969, Maurice White, a former session drummer for Chess Records and former member of the Ramsey Lewis Trio, joined two friends in Chicago, Wade Flemons and Don Whitehead, as a songwriting team composing songs and commercials in the Chicago area. The three friends got a recording contract with Capitol; they called themselves the "Salty Peppers" and had a marginal hit in the Midwestern area called "La La Time".[11] The Salty Peppers' second single, "Uh Huh Yeah", did not fare as well, and Maurice moved from Chicago to Los Angeles. He then added to the band singer Sherry Scott[12] and percussionist Yackov Ben Israel, both from Chicago, and then asked his younger brother Verdine how he would feel about heading out to the West Coast. On June 6, 1970, Verdine left Chicago to join the band as their new bassist. Maurice began shopping demo tapes of the band, featuring Donny Hathaway, around to different record labels and the band was thus signed to Warner Bros. Records.[11][13] Formation and early years (1971–1973) The cover of 1972 album Last Days and Time Maurice's astrological sign, Sagittarius, has a primary elemental quality of Fire and seasonal qualities of Earth and Air q.v. (Sagittarius in the northern hemisphere occurs in the fall, whose element is earth, and in the southern hemisphere, it is spring, whose element is air., the omission of Water, the fourth classical element). Based on this, he changed the band's name, to "Earth, Wind & Fire"

Making the Job Interview Process Work for You

A candidate’s ultimate goal from an interview is to receive an offer of employment. The employer’s goal is to select the right candidate. Contrary to how candidates have approached interviews in the past, waiting for the interview to learn what you need to know to determine if this is the right decision, is much too late.  Many employers have figured that out, too, and that is why they research candidates’ backgrounds in advance of the interview, or prefer to work with candidates referred by a trusted source. The employer will typically know what they need (not always) and what they are willing to pay (a range) in advance of an interview. If they truly don’t have a range, then it could be red flag. It may mean they haven’t researched to know what is reasonable, or worse, don’t have a budget, which means they may not be fiscally prepared to add to staff.
Regardless of how prepared or ill-prepared either party might be, every interview potentially ends with an offer and subsequently a negotiation. To retain a position of power throughout the process, the candidate’s negotiating strategy begins with their advance preparation, the resume they send and the first conversation. Contrary to popular belief, a strategy cannot begin after the offer is made. Any attempt to negotiate without a strategy is only a reaction or response. The person without a strategy is in a less powerful position than the one with a strategy.
The following examples illustrate how easy it is to lose your power prior to or during an interview, when there has been little preparation and no strategy developed prior to the first conversation. Immediately following are recommended actions to help a person maintain a position of power and to reinforce the ability to get what they want.

Ways to Lose Your Power:

1. Reacting to an opportunity without goals and a strategy. If you are unclear about what it is you really want, why and how you are going to accomplish it, it is impossible to present a compelling case for why you are a fit for the role or the company.
2. Not preparing for the call before you speak with them. Without preparation, it is too easy to get side tracked with tough questions. People say things they shouldn’t say, and say things in ways that can be easily misinterpreted.
3. Talking about money before an interviewer knows anything about you (other than what’s in you your resume). Until you have presented a case for why you are worth anything, suggesting you should have more than what they might be offering will typically close the door on the opportunity. Yes, recruiters ask what you want. Just because they ask, doesn’t mean you need to tell them. (I’d like a home in Mexico. Anybody going to pony up?)
4. Disclosing current or previous compensation. Don’t compare apples and oranges. The employer wants to know they are not wasting their time. If you are changing roles or moving from an area with a different cost of living, this information is irrelevant. There are many ways to assure them you are fine with what they may offer.
5. Making demands or setting boundaries about what you will consider before a formal offer has been presented. If they haven’t decided they really want you and absolutely have to have you, then it is premature to discuss what you want. It can tip the cart and actually prevent an offer from coming forth.
6. Assuming who the decision maker is. Don’t take any conversations lightly. A receptionist or support person may not be listed as a participant, but they certainly may be in on the hiring decision. At the very least, information they pass on about you could make a difference in the outcome later.
7. Not knowing what the interviewer’s needs are. If you over speak when talking with any interviewer (trying to sell yourself by addressing issues that are not of interest to the person in front of you), you may completely miss the opportunity to move forward.
8. Making assumptions about the interviewer’s viewpoint or company’s position on key points without clarifying their needs. Expanding on your opinion about something without being absolutely certain it is in line with their thinking leaves too much to be wrongly interpreted.
9. Emailing communication that can be interpreted badly or will lose translation. Conversation about any conflict, money or a concern of any kind should not have a permanent trail.
10. Asking questions about “what they can do for you” before you have presented value to them. Don’t imply you will have special requests before they are clear about “what you can do for them”.
11. Talking beyond the business at hand before it is a done deal. If an offer hasn’t been presented for the role that is in front of you, then changing direction midstream without fulfilling their initial need can take you completely out of the game. Discussion about future options can be interpreted as if you are not interested in the original position or are overqualified. Even though the conversation seems pleasant enough, the reality of what is still left unfilled may resurface after you have left, and you could be dropped like a hot potato.
12. Assuming any discussion is a formal offer when none has been made. You can’t assume that because one person loves you, and says everything is a go, that it is a done deal. Talk is cheap.

How to Maintain or Build Your Power:

1. Be clear about your goals and how a particular role or company will contribute to your being able to achieve them.
2. Know what you need to know about an industry to be competitive before you begin any conversation.
3. Research a company and be as aware of important information about it before you have a conversation with a recruiter or hiring manager.
4. Set the stage that money is not your highest priority, but the fit and contribution to the company’s needs are.
5. Deflect questions about current earnings. Don’t be pushed into comparing apples and oranges. Research the current market range and suggest it. Certainly finding out from inside sources prior to an interview is optimal if the range isn’t posted.
6. Find out who the real decision maker is.
7. Make sure you know what is important to every person you interview with.
8. Don’t take a stand about anything. Rather than discussing your “opinion”, tell them what you have done in the past so they don’t need to guess what actions you might take when given a tough scenario to maneuver through.
9. Ask open-ended questions to learn more about the role, department and company. Let them talk! Ask open ended-questions to build your awareness of their motivation before coming to any conclusions.
10. Discuss complex issues in person (or by phone if that is the only option other than email).Create a positive impression with all communications.
11. Save discussions about “future advancement” until they have confirmed their immediate need has been met.
12. Ask for a formal offer. Get it in writing. 

Negotiating what you want after you understand their position, you are clear of what you need and an offer has been presented is much more likely to end in a win-win.